Hung Up On Dreams That Want Life To Go Faster

Dreams
I usually don’t share my dreams because they are too abstract to put into words, but this one seemed to make since on some level. Especially after the day I had yesterday.
Yesterday, I was having these flashes of panic all day because any day I could be the father of two twins girls! (Even though the doctor feels like my wife could carry them the full 40 weeks with no problems). My training is at the point where I see daily that giant strides are being made in my fitness. This past Sunday I ran 9 miles, although slow, I still did it and kept my HR in it’s zone with NO probs and had no pain in the areas of my body mentioned in previous post.
So yesterday I started looking at the calendar and thinking about the what if’s, the unknown! Even after my wife reassured me that we have a plan and support that will help to ensure I am in able to train when the girls arrive. I still had moments during the day when panic smacked me around, but by the end of the day I was cool and relax
The Dream:
A few years ago, I dreamt that I was in a race somewhere in the mountain, a place I had never been before. It was a good dream, from what I remember.
Well, last night I dreamt that I was back at that same place about to race again, but I either forgot, my equipment or I had brought the wrong kind. In the dream, my wife had gotten together enough equipment (shoes, bike etc…) to see that I was able to race. However, I was freaking out yelling because it wasn’t the exact stuff I wanted to use! There were other strange events in the dream, (rain and porta-potties) and I don’t even remember if I actually raced, but I woke up thinking to myself, “man, I was being a complete ass, in my dream!”
The dream really allowed me to remember to trust the people in my life who understand and support both my athletic endeavors and creative projects, because without them I would not be able to do, the things I have done and continue to! Thank you ALL!

That brings me to the second part of the post. I had planned a bike ride outside today, but because it was 25 with a wind chill 0f 12 (wind gust up to 20 mph) I opted for one more ride on the spin bike at the club. As I finished up the last segment of the 2 hr ride, I shuffled to a song on my ipod that seemed to help me through the rest of the workout and summed up how I’ve been feeling about the training, racing, the twins and my art!
This is also for a few of my fellow trifuelers out there pushing their training along!



I know, “that life goes by fast, and if you don’t stop sometimes to look around, you just might miss it”-Ferris Bueller
Believe I’m trying to take every second in as my life slowly changes, but I am human and I get excited sometimes!

COMING SOON:
Tomorrow I get to start working on the paint job on my new aero-helmet! Will have picks and drawings by the end of the week.

One of the Reasons I Fell In Love With the Sport of Triathlon: BRICKS

Last week I did my 1st BRICK of the season and while it was a wake-up call (only 20 mi bike/ 3 mi run), it reminded me of why I love doing triathlons! In addition, as I continue to complete TheDorothyProject (yellow bricks) I keep thinking about how these two areas of my life are intersecting, which has got me thinking about exploring the term “brick” and how it has been used throughout both my art and sports career.
There are many different definitions that I use to describe a brick.

Triathlon: Anytime you combine two of the events of a triathlon in a single workout, either swimming, then biking or the more common, biking then running.
Art: Refers mainly to the work of the minimalist artist of the late 60’s and early 70’s, Carle Andre, Donald Judd and Sol Lewitt. Just to name a few.
Others include, a common building material that I have either used or seen used many times in my life to create structure.

Webster’s Dictionary says:
1brick
Pronunciation:
\ˈbrik\
Function:
noun
Usage:
often attributive
Etymology:
Middle English bryke, from Middle Dutch bricke
Date:
15th century
1plural bricks or brick : a handy-sized unit of building or paving material typically being rectangular and about 21⁄4 × 33⁄4 × 8 inches (57 × 95 × 203 millimeters) and of moist clay hardened by heat
2: a good-hearted person
3: a rectangular compressed mass (as of ice cream)
4: a semisoft cheese with numerous small holes, smooth texture, and often mild flavor
5: gaffe , blunder —used especially in the phrase drop a brick
6: a badly missed shot in basketball

On a Sunday one Fall afternoon when I was playing college football, I watched the rebroadcast of the Ironman and said to myself I want to do that one day.
I remember the first time I did my first workout geared towards the goal of completing a triathlon by going for a bike ride, hopping off and going on a nice easy jog. At the time, I was an experienced mountain biker who recently bought a rode bike to increase my fitness without the wear and tear of the trails on my body. After what I thought was an easy bike ride I put on my running shoes and headed out the door. Before I got to the end of the block I was saying to myself “what the $%$#@! How do they do this in a triathlon! After 1 mile, I was walking, but I was hooked. I realized at that moment it was going to take a entirely new level of fitness to achieve the goal of completing a triathlon.,. much less an Iron man. The next memory was the first time I got out of the pool and jumped on the bike. When the blood rushed from arms into my legs, it literally took my breath away. As I gasp for breath and my heart rate soared, I knew I would never look at any other sport the same ever again. These were the 1st of many BRICKS I would do for the next several years.
This took place prior to going to art school. While at art school, I began to race triathlon (sprints) and became interested in contemporary sculpture. Ultimately, I got my BFA with a concentration in sculpture.
So what is it that fascinates me about “bricks”? I have to say mainly it’s the idea of weight.
No matter what the context the term “brick” carries weight.
Weight, in all sense of the word, it implies gravity, work, struggle, craft, foundation, structure, material.
It is the rush you feel when the blood flows from area of the body to the other. You feel so heavy!
It’s the sound the bricks make when they’re being stacked and the sound your feet make as they struggle to run.
It is not prejudice. A 5 lb brick will be 5 lbs no matter who picks it up and biking 25 miles then running 6 mile is always a 25 mile bike and 6 mile run.
You always know where you stand with a brick.
Towards the end of the season as I prepare to race some of my favorite workouts will be bricks.

Here are a few
1.) Is what I call a “mega-brick”.
12 mile bike, 2.25 mile run repeat up to 4x, while holding Olympic race pace.

2.) Swim Brick
4400 yrds (800 yrd pyramid), then 44 miles on the flats out in Rockaway.

3.) The Test Brick (making sure nutrition is dialed in)
56 mile bike (70.3 pace), then 7 mi as if I was going to run 13 mi

The Request I Had For An Entry

Feel like I’m writing to write, making and entry just to enter.
It’d funny, as my training pushes into the next phase; the wear and tear on my body seems very familiar. The little aches and pains, stiffness or soreness ushers in the balancing act between the body, calendar/ schedule and the mind. I start to think about what I should be doing and what I can do without pushing my body past the point of injured returns.
As of today an old nagging “injury”? has reared its head to either taunt me or tempt me. (maybe both) The increase in miles and intensity really fatigues my mid to lower back. Then the hours I spend sitting at a desk either at work or in the studio only aggravates this even more. The remedy for this is a regular stretching routine that I do immediately post workout and a few times daily. Well, I really haven’t been doing enough of that in the weeks of this training increase. Now I’m bending & rubbing all day nursing my erector spinae and my quadratus lumborum to alleviate the irritation in my IT band. (Thought I’d throw those anatomy terms in there to see if you were paying attention.) I know that all progress forward depends on how this minor ding responds to the rehab treatment and if I’m wise enough to allow it to heal before I continue this level of training.
IN THE STUDIO:
Yesterday after working in the studio for a few in the morning (post swim) I made my way into the city to buy some supplies for the studio and for training.
I finally cashed in on my birthday present and bought myself an aero bike helmet for the future races I’ll be doing this year.

My plan is to put a customized paint job on it that will match the race apparel I am having printed up.
I’ll post the design drawing, progress pics and the results, as soon as the get cranked out.

Coming Soon:
One of the Reasons I Fell In Love With the Sport of Triathlon: BRICKS

Tuesday Found Me With No Easy Way Out

Have to admit it has been tough couple of days mentally...sometimes daily BS from other people drag me down whether I want it to or not. The Allman Brothers Band is doing their annual March run at the Beacon Theatre here in NY and because the twins could be here at anytime I didn't get tickets this go around (even though its their 40th anniversary). But I was in luck! They have been able to broadcast the shows on the web in HD. This weekend we sat on the couch and watched about 8hrs of the Brothers do their thing! It was great!
Every morning for the last week I have been checking each night's set list to see who the special guest was and what songs they played.
Well, this morning I saw that Gregg sang a song last night that, I have felt was written just for me. Especially the last few years and especially so early on this Tuesday morning.... as I sat at my desk, watched and listened to him sing it to me, I thought I'd share with you these lyrics as I have interpreted them over the years.

Oncoming Traffic
by Gregg Allman

Tuesday found me, standing on the highway...
Seems like no one, no one, was going my way
OR Was I waiting on the wrong side of the road
and I just don't give a damn, which way I go... yeah
Tell me where has my Faith gone
Has she walked out on me
Or does she still lie, somewhere inside of me
or maybe she's just to close, for my tired eyes to see... yeah, yeeah yeeeaah yeah
Tell me when... WHEN! Is my ship gonna come in
I ain't cold I ain't hungry, gotta little money to spend
But a man cannot live, oh no, on riches alone
He needs love friendship and a home
or Lord, he stands alone,
Oh, There are some many roads, which you may choose...
on some you're bound to win, on others you will lose
But it ain't never been so clear
That it is all,
Lord it is all,
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
That is all up to you..All up to you now baby!

-REFRAIN-
Since I have been trying to leave you with images or videos, this vid from the ROCKY series should be played to complete this blog thought.

I Have Tracked Down the WIcked Witch

Okay, here it is SO far, ever since starting this costume it has fought me tooth and nail. Even yesterday, it seemed like every seam or stitch had to be redone. I picked the material to be relatively easy to put together, but I guess I was wrong…or does it have something to do with the fact that it is the “wicked” witch costume! I used a flash because of the black fabric, the shades of black match up better under normal lighting. This weekend I’ll be updating the entire TheDorothyProject web page. So stay tuned for that announcement.
It’s really funny how the training is opening up my brain to new an fun ways of completing this project. Yesterday at the track and today in the pool, two new ideas popped into my brain. At the track as I rested in between intervals, I walked around on the field. It occurred to me that the field was actually two playing fields in one... it had the markings of both a football field and a soccer field. This got me thinking about the terms “American football VS Football”. I also began to think about the possibilities of what kind of playing filed would be created if a section of that field was cut out and then placed into another context, like The Land of Oz?
After I finished this 1st track workout I realized how and why I was so much faster and efficient the last time I raced! Can’t wait to see where I end up this time around!

Early Mornings, The Times We Love to Hate

For those of you who that read the blog in the morning, and share the experience of the early workout this vids for you!

I have been fighting a cold since this saturday and I even had to cancel 2 workouts to ensure a quick recovery, but I hit the pool hard this morning.

Warm-Up

2x 200 free, breast

400 back, free switch every 50

200 back free switch every 25

Main Set

20x 50 free w/ paddles

16x 50 w/ fins back kick 25 hard, free recover

2x 200 free pull w/ paddles

Cool Down

200 pull

On the way to the pool I thought about the ACDC Nike commercial, especially when I flipped ON the lights to the pool.

If all goes well I be in the studio after my track workout tomorrow morning, hopefully I'll have some pics of the "WickedWitch" costume.

Morning Training Explodes Into thedorothyproject

What a difference a few days make.

This week is a recovery week, I still train but not at the intensity or duration, I would have in the weeks prior.

“Thou Shall Not Overtrain”

This morning as I was in the middle of my main set (part of a swimming workout in the pool, for you non-swimmers) I looked up at the clock and it was 5:35 am. As I pushed off the wall for the next interval I thought, “how lucky am I!” I’m in this big pool all by myself, doing what only a certain group of folks get to do or are willing to do. Although it was hard, I rolled out of bed around 3:55am and was in the pool by 5am.
On the way to the pool I had a moment of clarity. Because of this sport/ training and getting up so early, my brain was working in a way that allowed a breakthrough in the manner in ahich I was thinking about thedorothyproject.
“simple, non-linear narrative, sports contests, don’t spoon feed it, make’em work as hard as the characters are”
That’s it. Now the filming, setting, and objects have a more specific role and possible resolution. (no studio required necessarily)

Art and Training:
The 1st attempt to collide them took place yesterday morning as I filmed myself doing my easy 5 miler on the treadmill. I don’t know if there is any real usable footage there , but it is a step in a new direction.

The Day After...Keeping on Keeping On!

I have almost come to terms with and wrapped my brain around not having a studio space anymore. Yesterday’s entry may have been written with a lot of emotion and haste, but it was how I was feeling and how I still feel, mostly. However, while I am trying to remember my “Rosie-isms”, “it is what it is” and “it could always be worse”, I do know that this will provide an opportunity for me to think and make other stuff, approach my ideas differently and really have a chgance to think outside of the box. It is just that I feel like I’m taking 2 steps back, again!...I know, “patience, young grasshopper”, but…..
There is an upside to this. I will be able to concentrate on training for a while. However until my lease is up I will be running any and every scenario through my brain, in hopes of finding away of keeping the studio.
To those of you out there who are keeping up with blog, thank you. Please don’t be shy and let me know who you are by joining the members section, it’s free.
A quick thought about sports and me.
When participating in a sport/ athletics, it balances me. It makes me feel good about myself and gives me direction. I am presented with obtainable goals that produce patience and insight. It helps me forgive and forget myself while escaping into blissful alone-ness. My mind, body, the earth, wind and water are in a loving struggle to exist in harmony while I hurl myself through time and space, as fast as a can. When it is over, my brain has slowed down, I’m recharged, balanced and ready to continue in this struggle called life.
Continuing to dwell on the connections between art and athletics, music/ soundtracks exist on the same plain as art and sports. Different genres, songs and artist may relate to either art or sport better, but they all seem to serve a similar function for both. It acts as a vehicle for them both to travel in through time and space. Example: I can listen to the Allman Brothers Band all day long while working in the studio, then get up the next day get on the bike trainer and pedal for 2 more hours blaring the very same songs in my head phones. Chords and note structures inform each differently as well.

Growing Up Sucks! and I'm scared!

I'm having a really tough start to the week. There is about 8 inches of snow on the ground and the reality of the future has smacked me square in the face! We sat down this morning and looked at what the next year of our life could possibly bring. We can't afford my studio rent and pay for child care. I will have to work as much as I can and being the realist I am, I have come to the understanding that I will in fact have to give up my studio as of May, when my lease runs out. All the hard work I put into giving KENDALLPROJECTS a home will be sacrificed to provide a more stable and reliable life for my girls. Yep, I have just made a selfless decision that signed the death sentence to, my hopes of remaining a working artist in NY. The hope of living in NY as an artist has all but vanished. As of May, except in the event of winning the lotto, or an act of god the doors of kendallprojects will be closed indefinitely. Until I can figure out a way for me to make art, help pay bills and make sure the girls are taken care of I will be packing up the sewing machine.
Whether this is truly the case or not, I feel like I have been wasting my time the last 8yrs, while lying to myself about my true chances of "making it" here! I have a degree that ultimately don't mean shit and I might as well pack the family up and move back to SC and be unemployed like everyone else.