The Role of Discipline Now

"The Masters in the Art of living make little distinction between their work and their play, their labor and their leisure, their minds and their bodies, their information, their recreation, their love and their religion. They hardly know which is which: they simply pursue their vision of excellence at whatever they do, leaving others to decide whether they are working or playing."
-James A. Michener
Discipline acts as a catalyst for me to understand how my body and mind work, both separately and together. So that I can learn, how and why they perform in the manner, which they do under the stress of training or competition. Discipline also makes me approach going to the studio as a job, because inspiration can strike at anytime weather I want to be in the studio or not. It also suppresses the self-doubt that often haunts me while I’m in the studio. Training and Triathlon nearly dissolve that self-doubt completely.

Dealing with Today, To Be Prepared For Tomorrow

As the arrival of the twins approaches, I find myself working in the studio less and less because of the important preparations that are needed for any expecting parents, which has taken up any spare time I have of late. Although I am incredibly grateful to be blessed with a job, the daily stress from the office has begun to take its toll on my mental space. I feel like “Thedorothyproject” is slipping away and the death sentence of a “working” artist is slowly creeping up on me. However, I do know that this is only temporary and when the girls get here all the elements of my life will be put into perspective.
On a more positive note I’m finally getting back in shape. The need for this crazy sport called triathlon is paramount to my entire well-being and mental health. As I settle back into my life post grad school, I reflect on the condition I was in both mentally and physically before going back to school. Then I think about the toll school took on my entire life during those two years. Although it was a lot of fun, I met and worked with some incredible people, and learned a whole hell of a lot about how I make work, the schedule and pace of that life nearly destroyed the mentally stable and healthy person I was prior. Now I am finding balance again and it is a struggle everyday.
I’m ramping up into full training mode and it feels great. This week I did a 8 mile run, a 3400 yard swim and tomorrow if things go as planned I’ll get on the bike for about 40 miles. Even though those workouts were hard and exhausting, I LOVED every second of it! If I could have gone to the studio instead of the work, I would be living my dream life! But, there are bills to pay, mouths to feed, dishes to wash, groceries to buy, and soon diapers to change. With all that I said I must continue to remind myself, “It could always be worst”.

Where is it coming from and who cares where it is going!

My Art embodies the fantasies that stem from childhood obsessions that are now motivated by the knowledge learned through my adult life experiences.

In the studio: My Brain is at full speed, thinking, reworking, regretting, and remaking both my past and future. My, I pod acts as the stimulus to a constant stream of thought that comes from the joy, fear, anger, memories, wishes, and stories all new and old in, which places me back in a place of doubt, worry and fear of the unknown. I question my honesty…my selfishness. I ask, what is the point, of making this stuff? Many times the answer is “I don’t know, but I just got to get it out or I’ll burst!” and any obligation I may feel from being an artist comes from the knowledge that I have the ability, experience and talent to do so.When I forget about the “business” of being an artist, simply have fun with what’s going on in my brain and engage in the joy of making “stuff” I believe I’m creating something magical! Deep down I truly believe nothing matters other than how my art and creative process makes me feel. However, I do understand that there is a world out there where my art exist. Unfortunately, I do care what others think about what I make, but I worry that in the end they just don’t

Random Words That Make Some Sense

Athlete, Art, Contemporary Art, Temporary Artist, Sports, Spoiled, Triathlon, Weak, Warrior, Endurance, Suffering, Imbalance, Balance, Family, Father, Music, Lost, Soundtrack, Waste, Worth, Worry, Doubt, Belong, Wrong, Love, Escape, Indulgent, Discipline, Memories, Morning, Mourning, Speed, Youth, Pace, Place, Power, Rock.
Really been feeling like my head is clearing these days and I'm trying to grasp a new persepctive on my life and creative process. In the next few post I'll probably be posting some of the thoughts I've been making note of lately. As well as images that have me thinking and continued updates of TheDorothyProject (note the new spelling)
Any comments and/ or encouragement is welcome and appreciated!